


The Hitchhiker's Guide To The TARDIS

by Cecil_G_P



Category: Doctor Who, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Genre: Crossover, h2g2 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1382575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecil_G_P/pseuds/Cecil_G_P
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Ponds are gone the Doctor is all alone.  The day is going along crummy enough when yet another end of the world scenario must be stopped.  No one knows what happened, no one except a mad teenage girl claiming to be displaced from an even madder alternate universe.  You don't need to know a thing about h2g2 to read this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 11 Is a Lonely Number

**Author's Note:**

> None of the characters belong to me. I just created a plot. Constructive criticism is always welcome!

The Earth's multidimensional wavelength chose a Thursday to collapse in on itself. It had planned to do so quietly and unnoticed, but such was not to be. The Doctor was in. 

"Wha-  _what_?" He screeched to himself. "Why? What's causing this?" The odd man ran frantically around the room, pushing buttons and pulling levers. He practically mounted the computer banks, using one foot to keep a lever in place and stretching to reach a keyboard. It was rather fortunate that I had no nerve endings there. 

I wished very much to help my thief in his predicament, but it was most difficult for me to stay within the present.  So I did as usual and observed in silence.  My thief began to mutter in gallifayen.  

"I'M MISSING SOMETHING POND!" He glanced up sharply only for his expression to soften.  "I almost forgot Amelia," he whispered into empty space, "you're not a Pond anymore."  I tried to flood his mind with my presence -a broken box's attempt at comfort- but I could tell it wasn't enough.  "Right then." He jammed a pair of reading glasses on his head.  "Geromino!"  But the invigoration had left his voice.

"Missing, missing, what am I missing?"  His fingers stilled.  "Oh... OH!  But it's so simple... could it work?"  With a shrug and a soft "what the hell?" the Doctor typed a deceptively small number into the equation.  Through the gallifrayen meaning is not quite the same, said number could be translated into 42. 

Earth's wavelengths stopped its nervous fidgeting, gave the quantum equivalent of an exasperated sigh, and decided yes- they supposed they could hang around a  _little bit longer_. 


	2. But One Is The Lonliest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's worth mentioning I'm not british. And if something isn't clear please let me know in the comments.

Random sat quietly in a plastic chair. But not patiently. She had been waiting for nearly six hours -only half of one had been spent in this chair. She ran the events of the day through her head again. It didn't make much sense. Random was glad for once to be an expert in things that didn't quite make sense. She was certain there had been some trans-quantum meddling involved. Yelling at mum. Yelling at dad. Yelling at someone whom looked almost but not quite like mum. The planet being destroyed.  
Yes. She was sure that was what had happened. Destroyed and then restored for no entirely obvious reason. In all the panic and confusion Random had made her escape, determined not to see mum or dad again until she fixed what she had broken. Which was what had brought her to this stupid plastic chair.  
Dad's watch was his prized possession. It was a strange watch, made out of old materials and arcane methods. It only told the time and only on one planet. Random had wanted to see what was so special about it, wanted to know how it worked. So she disassembled it as she always did in such situations. But the stupid thing wouldn't go back together. So here she was in a garishly posh watchmaker's office on a dull little planet named Earth.  
The manager's concerns about repairing a watch for a teenager had quickly fallen away at the sight of all the little green pieces of paper (that she acquired in a less than honest way). He had even offered to fix the watch in as little as five hours. Random sighed, her fingers beating a tune out of the desk, it's wood only slightly darker than her fingers. Perhaps if she had a few more pieces of green paper...  
"My sincerest apologies for the delay Ms.Dent." He smiled sheepishly. "The polishing took more time than expected." He slid his fingers under the lid of a sleek black box. Little clicks sounded as he lifted the lid. The watch looked stunning as he lifted it proudly from the velvet interior. "We made sure it would run as smoothly as the day it was made."  
"Thank you." Now she could feel sincere in her apologies.  
"Worth every cent you paid." He sneered. The stupid mad seemed to think he had received the better end of the bargain.  
"It's appreciated." She attempted to keep the laughter out of her voice, the currency was worthless off planet.  
"Allow me to put it on." He took Random's right arm only to discover her entire forearm sheathed in a black glossy tube. She offered her left instead. Once it was secured she stood to leave.  
"I'm afraid I must go. But thank you for your help it was most appreciated."  
"And paid for. I don't mean to keep you love but what is on your arm?"  
"Oh, just another watch." Random laughed out loud at the man's baffled expression.


End file.
